Run with Eric:
food

How is it that the break that I took ended up being more stressful than when I was working around the clock? Maybe it was the work that was keeping me going the whole time. I’m more exhausted now than I was a week ago at this same time. I thought that taking a break would have helped me deal with some deeply unsettling personal matters, but somehow it only helped to solidify my ever growing break with humanity and just how little I believe in it as a whole.

My desire to scream at everyone over their entitlement and privilege reached an all time high this week as on an almost continual basis all but a very tiny handful of friends and acquaintances found new way to let me down and depress me even further.

Without going into massive specifics – and I HATE even bringing this up in a public forum – due to circumstances beyond my control I don’t have a place to live for the next two weeks. If you want to know the story, ask me in person and I will tell you. It’s a clustercuss of ups and downs, a maze of paperwork, a load of idiocy on the parts of people you would think would be able to help (city, province, charities), but there is a solution in sight. It’s been going on for the past several weeks and again briefly at the beginning of the year, and it’s simultaneously embarrassing to talk about and hurtful for me to write about, especially since this isn’t the first time this has happened to me. It’s actually the second time in several years that I’ve had this rotten luck.

Again, this isn’t about the ones who try to or have helped. This is about those who can’t step outside themselves to just do anything for anyone other than themselves. And for those of you joining my life really late, both of my parents have been dead for over a decade now and I don’t have family to fall back on at all. Not even extended family. That is, unless you want to give me five grand to track them down and go to the States and find them, but honestly if you want to give me that much money to fly down there you could just as easily keep me here.

Now, I know that not everyone I know is capable of helping out when I need it or sheepishly ask, and even those who can help will only be able to do it to certain degrees based on means, availability, and comfort. I will never begrudge those who have already been there to help out wherever they could and so grateful and humbled. Some of them are close friends that have been around since the beginning and others are only casual friends with hearts made of pure gold. Some people just simply can’t and I totally get it. I could get into how some people are unable to grasp various degrees of what constitutes help (i.e. how it’s not all about just straight up giving me a place to crash for a night or two or a few dollars for something to eat), but that’s a different story.

My problem and something that I’ve become uniquely attuned to is that everyone around me seems to be blowing their money now more than ever on some of the dumbest shit imaginable. They are unable to help because they have lived so far beyond their means that they can’t even fathom what helping another human being is. I asked, again, embarrassingly, for $20 last Tuesday from two separate people, the use of which I will get back to in a second.

One of them said they couldn’t do it (or help with a place to sleep for even a couple of hours due to having a small apartment, which is more understandable), and yet they just came back from a trip to Florida and torment me still with pictures of their happy, lavish trip every day. The other similarly declined yet had bragged on Twitter two days earlier on donating $200 to the Kickstarter for the Veronica Mars movie.

That $20 would have gone to the following: a TTC day pass (the fares for which are one of the most overpriced things on the planet for return on service, but that’s another gripe) to get around since the weather was unremittingly shitty about and food for three days. By food for three days that means one McChicken from McDonalds every day for three straight days while eating nothing else. Wasn’t going to be the most glamorous $20 ever spent.

So what ended up happening that day was there was an ice and sleet storm. I started the day with $3 in my pocket which I had to spend to meet a friend to borrow $5. Then, when I left my friend the weather was even worse and I had to go to work I had to spend another $3 of that 5 to get back on the subway. This left me with $2. That same afternoon I see the friend who went on vacation eating in a really nice restaurant on Yonge Street. I wanted to go in and flip the table over. And this, contrary to what you might thing, was actually a closer friend to me than most.

So you might say, “But Andy, you have a job. Several, in fact! Several good jobs, even. How do you not have anything?” Good question. First off, as I stated in my last post, this was never a good paying a job and now more than ever I almost have to quit entirely and take a fast food gig just to get money fast. Don’t laugh, I’ve applied. I’ve also applied for assistance on various levels, but being a single male with no dependents and actual employment, you don’t qualify for anything. On top of that, I already put all the money I had and borrowed more into getting a new place that I can move into on May 1st. I absolutely couldn’t get anything sooner without paying out the ass for a temporary room in a shady, suspect place. So I have negative eighty dollars in my bank account as is, and as we all know, that’s a pretty bad spot to be in.

Second, in the past month I have had two paycheques bounce on me and one outlet just hasn’t paid me. Another outlet that pays me on a regular basis doesn’t pay until the end of the month (with all of last months getting spent on getting me out of this mess ASAP), and yet another is three months past due on paying me. Another outlet doesn’t pay until an article runs and I have nothing running for them until June. Finally, I don’t get any of the advance money for the book I’m working on until I can prove a certain amount of its done.

I’ve just grown fed up and I have no idea where exactly to go from this point on, but I know it shouldn’t be this difficult to turn to those who allegedly support you on a friendly level to help me. I’ve reached the point where the few people who can help me are stretched to the point where they just can’t do anything anymore. So if you see me or know how to contact me or care, just know that it’s reached the point where I have to make it public knowledge that things are shitty, just know that this is going on even if I haven’t brought it up to you directly and until the end of the month, know that I won’t turn down any help that I can get. Pretty desperate at this point just to get back on track. Also, I can’t spend another night sleeping at the airport since they caught on last night that I wasn’t actually flying anywhere. Today is literally (meaning the dictionary definition of “in the strictest sense”) the last day I have to come up with some sort of plan for the next two weeks. I have tried for the past seven days to do something on my own and nothing at all worked or panned out. There are sadly no more options other than looking like a complete and total bum.

So if you can offer any of the following, here’s the kickstarter I am willing to propose:

For a donation of any amount of money for food or transportation, I would be willing to pay it back as soon as I possibly can. It won’t be immediately. Admittedly, I am already in a small bit of debt from this ordeal already. BUT what I would be willing to do – for any loaning of money $20 or more - is to write you an original story on any topic of your choosing OR I will write about or review any movie you want me to review. This can also be claimed by anyone willing to cut out the middle man and buy me a TTC weekly pass for either this week or next OR anyone willing to offer me work space during the day.

If you want to buy me lunch, I will send you a PDF copy of my collection of short stories and essays from 5 years ago titled SLEEPLESS. Since the book was finished and published ages ago, you would think this would be a lesser offer, but I really can’t think of anything else equal to a lunch in terms of pricing that I could offer. Also, since part of my “get back on my feet” plan is to re-release this for this summer via eReaders, I can’t really just throw it around like I did the past couple of years.

For a donation of having me over for dinner, I will do the dishes and clean your kitchen for you. And by clean your kitchen I mean the basics. Counters, floors, a brief once over of the fridge. I’m not cleaning the oven… unless you want to pay for that. An extra $20 and I’ll clean the oven, but I would prefer not to. Last time I tried to clean my own oven I broke out in an allergic rash from the cleaning foam even while wearing gloves.

For an offer of a place to sleep for any amount of time, the donator will get the perks listed above as well as more general housework done. In addition, if the donator provides ingredients (or just gives me cash and trusts my taste, which given some of my reviews, you might not want to go that route), I will make a home cooked meal for the provider. I can cook. It’s a side of me no one else really sees. It’s a pretty special offer.

Any other offers (including work and commissions) can be discussed. As you can see, I am trying very hard to have a sense of humour about this, but I really just need something, anything to go right. And when some of your closest friends find ways to let you down (again, not all of them, you guys), what other options are left?

If you have any questions, chances are you know where to reach me.

If you're married and trying to pursue this crazy sport of triathlon, you better have a supportive spouse. And that hold doubly true if you have kids.

Some things that I've learned, through trial and error mostly. A lesser woman would have changed the locks on me, but fortunately for me, my wife, Kelly, cuts me way more slack than I deserve.

Here we go:

1. Spectating at a race is nearly as tiring as actually competing in it. I've been on the other side of the ropes, as it were, on a number of occasions. As an athlete, your mind is occupied with your race, trying to get yourself prepared for a good performance. As a spectator, 50% of your mental energy is spent trying to send good vibes to your loved one, 25% is spent thinking how much you'd rather be in bed and the rest on where you can get some friggin' coffee. A coffee stand near the transition area would clean up!! Ok, so once you get the race area, you stand around, chat with other supporters a bit. And wait. And wait. And wait. And trying to figure out the exact moment when your athlete is going to flash by. How long did she think the swim would take? She started at 6:47 and 30 seconds, a 20 minute swim means she should go by at roughly 7:07 and oh crap, there she goes! Damn it, I didn't have the camera ready!

2. Spectating at a race while simultaneously watching two young kids is HARDER than racing. Seriously. The kids and I watched Kelly compete at the Danskin race at Disneyland recently. Between getting the kids packed up in a stroller while they are still completely asleep, making sure they have food and drink for the day, managing to get them both to go to the bathroom in a porta potty at the same time without disaster (can't leave one alone outside, ya know), prevent them from running out in front of speeding cyclists on the bike course, and calming them down after one of them drops a sippy cup in a lagoon. I was DYING for Kelly to finish just so I could get some help!! And that was a 2 hour race. How she does it for a 5+ hour event like a half-ironman, I honestly have no idea.

3. On a related note, no matter how exhausted you are when you cross the finish line, you better be ready to take over with the kids when you're done. Like I mentioned before, your finish line is your spouse's finish line as well. She (or he) is Finished taking care of the kids. Time to take off the race number and strap on the baby carrier. No complaining about how tired you are... get it?

4. Say goodbye to race expos. Yes, they are full of cool stuff to buy. We all have to procure those last minute items that every triathlete needs like Gu flasks, Co2 cartridges and Lacelocks. Do yourself a favor. Buy that stuff in advance. Get your race number and get out of there. Your spouse and your kids have no desire to be there... and are spending a whole day watching you tomorrow. Don't make 'em waste their day watching you pick out a new race number belt.

4. Race day is all about you, the athlete. And justifiably so, you've trained hard for your event, so come race morning, you deserve the ability to focus, prepare and enjoy your race experience. But, see #3 above. Once you're done, you're done. Save the talk about your next event for a few days down the road... the last thing your spouse wants to hear is more talk about your next heavy training block and another race.

5. So, do something fun for the family the day after, the week after, even the month after your big event. If you do Oceanside 70.3, take the kids to Legoland on Monday (Your legs will appreciate the walking). After Vineman, hit up the wineries and drink some old grape juice. After IM Hawaii, relax on the beach for a few days afterwards and let your spouse indulge in a spa day while you hang with the kids. Let the training and triathlon talk disappear for a while.

There is more to life than triathlon after all. Right?

Just like every other parent, I sometimes have a hard time getting my two young daughters to make healthy food choices. But, with some experimentation, I came up with a simple, healthy preparation for broccoli that they absolutely love.

I've actually heard them tell their friends, "My dad's a good cook, he makes the best broccoli!". Needless to say, that is music to my ears. This is my go-to vegetable recipe that, so far at least, has never failed
to disappoint. Give it a try.

Ingredients

3 large broccoli crowns, chopped into large pieces
4 cloves garlic, minced
1 cup low-sodium chicken or vegetable broth
1 tablespoon Bragg's Amino Acids, low-sodium or wheat-free soy sauce
1 tablespoon olive oil

In a large saucepan, heat olive oil over medium heat. Add garlic and cook until it begins to soften. When it starts to turn golden, add broth and bring to boil. Add broccoli, Bragg's Aminos or soy sauce, and stir to ensure that ingredients are mixed. Reduce heat to low and simmer for approximately 10 minutes, or until broccoli is tender and bright green. Remove from heat and serve.

Serves 4

*Note: this is not a strictly Paleo recipe due to the Bragg's/soy as soy is a legume. Here is a soy-free/gluten free soy sauce substitute recipe worth trying.

A couple years ago, someone handed me a copy of the The Paleo Diet for Athletes, by Dr. Loren Cordain & Joe Friel. In the book's pages, the authors claimed that eating a diet closer to what our Paleolithic ancestors ate has amazing benefits. A diet that eliminates grains, dairy products and legumes and replaces them with an increased intake of animal proteins and healthy fats, along with plenty of vegetables and fruit results in improved body composition, more energy, superior athletic performance, reduced illness and reduction in the risk factors for the modern long-term illnesses like heart disease and diabetes.

Ever the cynic, after reading the book, I set it aside as another fad diet (Adkins, Zone, Hollywood, South Beach) that promised incredible results, yet failed to deliver. But several times over the last several months, I had conversations with friends and fellow athletes who embarked on this way of eating and reported results quite similar to what Dr. Cordain and Mr. Friel claimed. I began to do some research, discovering that Paleo and similar eating philosophies (Primal, PaNu) seems to have nearly universally positive results for those willing to embrace the change. Maybe there was something to this after all.

On March 1, I began my own Paleo journey, adhering to the following principles.

What I stopped eating (or ate a LOT less of)

Month 1:

• No grains (including breads and other baked goods, pasta, cereal, granola, oats, quinoa and rice)
• Minimal dairy (occassionally using some butter for cooking and a small amounts of cheeses like feta or in salads). No milk, no yogurt, no cream. Of course, no ice cream. Ouch.
• No legumes (including all beans, peanuts and soy products).
• Starchy carbohydrates: potatoes
• Refined sugar products: soft drinks (including things like packaged iced teas... ever read the nutrition label of an Arizona Iced Tea?), candy.

• Still no grains, except for the occasional cheat meal.
• Minimal dairy, but now have added full fat organic whole milk as an indulgence (maybe a glass a week) and whole cream in my coffee.
• Dramatically reduced legumes: I try to avoid peanuts, soy... will have some black beans on occasion.
• Starchy carbs (sweet potatoes, parsnips) only immediately before or after hard exercise sessions. I am still avoiding potatoes.

• Fundamentally, Paleo or Primal eating is about "real" food. Unprocessed, as close to the source as you can get. If it's a packaged food, the fewer ingredients the better. But ideally, this style of eating minimizes consumption of foods that come in boxes, cans or jars.
• Meat: beef, chicken, fish, pork. A quick aside about meat. It is pretty well-documented that there is wide variation in quality when it somes to the meat available at the grocery store. Most "factory" cows and chickens are fed a non-optimal diet of grains and soy. When possible, we purchase pasture-raised, organic or wild meat. In the case of beef, we acquired a 1/2 steer from a local supplier, so all our beef at home is grass-fed. We buy the best chicken available at the local groceries, but due to cost and availability this isn't always pastured or organic. Same goes with the fish; wild when possible, but sometimes we eat farm-raised.
• Eggs: Organic or pasture-raised when possible... but again, sometimes we are limited by what is on hand at the local Wal-mart or Kroger.
• Vegetables: broccoli, asparagus, various squashes, onions, mixed greens, leafy greens (kale, spinach, swiss chard), bell peppers... the list goes on. You get the idea, lots of veggies.
• Fruit: berries, mandarin oranges, apples, bananas.
• Nuts and seeds: almonds (and almond butter, milk), pecans, macadamia.

• Breakfast: scrambled eggs and fruit (apples, bananas) and on the weekend, bacon.
• Lunch: Big salad with greens, colorful veggies and chicken, tuna, beef and turkey. Basic oil and vinegar dressing or homemade vinaigrette.
• Dinner: Steak, chicken, fish, some cooked veggies and a green salad.
• Snacks: a handful of nuts, some trail mix, celery or apples with almond butter, baby carrots, sliced red bell peppers with some hummus. Will have a protein shake (with almond milk and some fruit) after a big workout.

• Daily calories: 1876
• I was somewhat surprised by how low this was. For reference, my Basal Metabolic Rate (daily calories burned at rest) is 1986.
• Carbs (g): 139 29.64% of total
• Here, Mark Sisson of MarksDailyApple.com talks about an ideal range of 50-100g per day for weight loss and 100-150g for maintenance, plus roughly 100g for each hour of training.
• Fat (g): 94.5 45.3% of total
• Nothing remarkable here... certainly more than the 44-78g range recommended by the Mayo Clinic, but not surprising considering all the nuts, avocado, healthy oils, and of course, a good amount of animal fat.
• Protein (g): 117.3 25.01% of total
• Way more than the FDA's 56g Recommended Daily Allowance (RDI), but quite close to the.7-1.0g per lb of lean body weight guideline recommended by many fitness trainers for those looking to increase lean muscle mass.
• Fiber (g): 24.69
• Depending on where you look, most experts recommend a fiber intake between 20-35g per day. I ended up well within this range... despite no grains. Amazing to think vegetables have fiber. Whooda thunk?

On April 1st, I upped the intensity of my training somewhat added in some longer cycling sessions, while continuing my strength training as well. Total volume came in just under 65 minutes avg per day (72% cycling/rowing/running, 28% strength training)

Weight change.
March 1: 209.6.
April 1: 193.6
May 1: 189.0

Very dramatic weight loss the first two weeks (about 12 lbs), since then it has slowed to about 1 lb per week.

Performance and strength gains are evident. A few data points:

One set standard pushup max:
March 1: 43, May 2: 78
TRX Low Row/Atomic Pushups (aka 40/40 challenge):
March 1: 18 pushups/26 low rows; April 29: 40 pushups/41 low rows

There was some initial impact on my endurance the first two weeks... my energy level crashed after about 20 minutes into any extended cardio workout. But this subsided and my energy levels and endurance improved and exceeded previous levels after this transition period. In fact, I set a new indoor rowing half marathon personal best on March 27 and my strength on my bike is improving every day.

Overall impressions on changing to this way of eating:

I'm not going to lie. The first couple of weeks, I was craving bread, rice and pasta... it was such a cornerstone of my meals that it seemed strange to have a meal without some starchy carb in it. But, now I am used to it and am perfectly satisfied with a plate full of veggies with some protein, whether its in the form of a big salad, or some cooked veggies and a nice portion of roasted chicken or steak.

Benefits:

• Improved body composition: I am losing body fat consistently, and thanks to a consistent exercise routine, building lean body mass and improving strength. What else can I ask for?
• Energy levels: More consistent throughout the day. No post-meal "food comas". No energy crash in the afternoon.
• Sleep: Generally improved, once I'm out, I am out until about 8-9 hours later.
• More consistant hunger patterns: I am rarely "starving". I eat three times per day... moderately sized meals, but I rarely find myself super hungry like before.

• Eating while out or traveling: paleo/low carb options can be hard to come by while eating out or on the road, particularly for breakfast. I am getting used to special ordering.
• Food preparation time: So many of the quick foods available are grain based, so it can be inconvenient to cook every meal. Grabbing a pizza on the way home from the kid's softball practice is no longer in the cards. Or if we do, I have to make my own meal while they eat pizza. Which begs the question, are my kids eating paleo? Yes and no, but that's the subject of another post.
• Cost: Protein is expensive. Carbs are cheap. Enough said.

Virtual high five to anyone who knows where the word 'Strumtrulescent" comes from. And no deal if you have to Google it.

It's certainly soup season here in West Virginia... a high over 30 degrees is cause for celebration lately. I whipped this up the other day and it came out great. The nice thing about using lentils in soups as opposed to other legumes (navy beans, for example) is that you don't have to soak them before using. A big time saver. This can be a vegan recipe if you skip the addition of the pork. It's very good either way.

Here's the recipe.

2 tablespoon olive oil
3 medium carrots, chopped
1 large onion
3 celery stalks, trimmed and chopped.
3 cloves of garlic, minced
8 cups of water
1 small (16 oz.) bag of lentils
1 14.5 oz. can of diced tomatoes
1 teaspoon of dried thyme
1 1/2 teaspoons of balsamic vinegar
1 teaspoon of black pepper
4 slices of bacon or 4 oz of pancetta, chopped (optional)
3 teaspoons of salt (2 if using the meat)

In a large stockpot, heat the oil and add the carrots, onions, celery, garlic and meat (if using). Cook over medium heat until the vegetables have softened and the meat has cooked through. This should take about 5-10 minutes. Add lentils, spices and water and bring to a boil. Reduce heat to a simmer and cook for 45-60 minutes.

Serve with some crusty bread and enjoy. A couple sprinkles of hot sauce are also a nice touch if you like things spicy. Enjoy!

Things have been pretty crazy around Casa Flores for the last month with my family visiting from California and what, at times, seemed like endless stream of parties to cook and prepare for. So after nearly six weeks focused on celebrating with friends and family, it's time to look toward the future on how to make the new year even better than the last.

2010 was a huge year of change for me and my family. In August, we moved from the beaches of sunny San Diego to the mountains of West Virginia in order for my wife to pursue a lifelong goal of hers, which was to work at The Greenbrier. The stars aligned for her, as she is now playing a key role in the rebirth of the resort... truly exciting times. We swapped roles as she took over the responsibility of primary breadwinner as I quit my job at a telecommunications company and effectively ended my career in technology sales to take over as the primary caregiver for our two young daughters. This has a been a incredible blessing. My relationship with my kids has improved dramatically. Not that it was bad before, but we are much closer now than when I was working full-time.

The other blessing that has come out of the last few months is that the downtime has allowed me to do some thinking about how I want to focus my energies going forward.

Primary 2011 goal - To leverage my experience and passion for endurance sports and fitness by providing coaching and training services, primarily focused on beginner/novice athletes who are looking to use endurance sports as a way to open the door to a fit and healthy lifestyle. The state of West Virginia suffers from some the highest obesity rates in the country, despite the ample outdoor activities that are available here. My aim is to help stem the tide of this epidemic one individual at a time by becoming an evangelist and an educator. The first step is to educate myself more fully and I am currently in the process of obtaining my NASM Certified Personal Training Certification and later this year will pursue my USAT Triathlon Level 1 Certification. Much, much more on this to come as this plan comes to fruition. Stay tuned.

Of course, I have some personal fitness goals as well, some big picture and some more fun little challenges.

• Become a runner again. After six months off, it's healed and time to get back to it. And get back to 80 min half-marathon shape by the end of the summer.
• Row a 6:40 2K on my Concept2 indoor rower. My original time frame was by December 1. A back injury last month derailed my efforts somewhat, but I am back (pun intended) and will be posting my progress here regularly as I try to achieve this goal by February 1.
• Row 2,000,000 lifetime meters by April 31. (at 1,048,829m as of Jan 4)
• Sub 4:30 Half Ironman Triathlon. Goal race - PPD Beach to Battleship Triathlon
• Complete both TRX 40/40 challenges (upper body = low row/atomic pushups, lower body = hip press, suspended lunges)

Sometimes there is nothing better than a hot plate of starchy carbohydrates to start your morning. Particularly in the form of a tall stack of pancakes. I'm a bit of a tinkerer in the kitchen and I came up with the following recipe for multi-grain pancakes after some trial and error. I think they are pretty good and my wife and kids like them, so my bet is that you will too.

While I realize that it's not always the healthiest thing to eat (in fact, it's usually not), I'll assume that if you're reading this blog (all two of you) that you've either preceded or will follow your big breakfast with a hard workout to burn off all this excess glycogen. For the sake of balance and a more complete breakfast, I'd also recommend some protein. You can never go wrong with some thick sliced good quality bacon. If you're trying to avoid animal fat, or don't eat meat, the Morningstar brand veggie sausage patties are also excellent. And of course, some fresh fruit... strawberries, blueberries, peaches or what you can get your hands on or is in season.

Here's the recipe.

Get two large bowls out and pre-heat a griddle or skillet to 350 degrees.

In the first bowl, whisk together the following dry ingredients:

• 1/3 cup corn meal
• 1/4 cup quick cooking or old-fashioned rolled oats
• 1 cup whole wheat flour
• 3/4 cup white, all purpose flour
• 2 tablespoons sugar
• 1/2 teaspoon baking soda
• 1 teaspoon salt
• 2 teaspoons baking powder
• pinch of ground nutmeg

In the second bowl, whisk the following wet ingredients:

• 1 3/4 cup milk (I use 1%... whatever type you normally keep on hand will work. As for almond, rice or soy, I haven't tried those in this recipe, so you're on your own)
• 4 tablespoons butter (1/2 stick), melted
• 1/4 cup honey
• 3 large eggs
• 1/4 cup honey
• 1/2 teaspoon of vanilla extract

Pour wet ingredients into the dry and gently whisk together until combined. Don't overmix or your pancakes will come out dense and chewy.

Using a ladle, pour about 1/4 cup of batter onto hot griddle. If you like nuts, sprinkle chopped pecans, almonds or walnuts on each pancake while it cooks, before flipping.

They will be ready to flip when large bubbles appear on the top and start to pop. Serve right away or keep warm in a 200 degree oven.

Serve with pure maple syrup.

Enjoy!

In addition to playing athlete quite a bit of the time, I also play cook... which is primarly driven by my love of eating. So this is the first, but certainly not the last, recipe post. This year, I played cook for Thanksgiving. We had a pretty good sized group over to the house, thirteen people including nine adults and four kids.

Everything turned out well, but I received the most compliments on the green bean dish that I prepared…so I am sharing the recipe. It is really easy to prepare, but plan ahead as the dressing takes a day or so for the flavors to fully develop.

To give proper credit, my recipe was adapted from a recipe in Epicurious (an iPad app) and which originally appeared in Bon Appetit magazine. The original recipes used different vinegars, walnuts instead of pecans and cherries instead of cranberries. But I went with what I had on hand and adjusted to my taste.

Green Beans with Pecans and Cranberry Vinaigrette

Ingredients

For vinaigrette:
1/3 cup extra-virgin olive oil
1/3 cup minced shallots
3 tablespoons red wine vinegar
2 teaspoons Balsamic vinegar
2 tablespoons chopped fresh mint
1 1/2 teaspoons coarse kosher salt
1 teaspoon sugar
1/2 teaspoon black pepper
1/3 cup dried cranberries (or Craisins)

1 1/2 lbs trimmed green beans
1/2 cup pecans

Whisk together vinaigrette ingredients, cover and place in refrigerator. It is best to do at least one day ahead.

Toast pecans by spreading out on a baking sheet and placing in a 350 degree oven for 5 to 10 minutes, being careful not to burn.

Bring large pot of water to a rolling boil and add green beans. Prepare large bowl of ice water. Cook green beans for 4-5 minutes and then immediately add to ice water. This will stop cooking and help to intensify the bright green color. Once the beans are chilled, drain and pat dry with paper towels, making sure to remove as much water as possible.

Toss together toasted pecans, cooked green beans and vinaigrette dressing and serve.

We said good-bye to Kona yesterday. The cancer, which first presented in his right front shoulder and had made one leg nearly useless, had quickly spread to his rear leg and his abdomen. Trying to get around on three legs is hard enough, moving around on two was nearly impossible. The painkillers had ceased to help much, if at all. The last few nights he was moaning all night, even though we had tripled the dosage. Truly, no way to live.

We decided yesterday morning that it was time and called the vet. They said to come in at 3:30. I took off from early from work. After the girls got home from school, we explained what was happening and spent about an hour with him... just petting him, giving him some of his favorite foods. Then we drove to the vet and said our final goodbyes. We all held him as they gave him the medication and let him go.
____

My wife and I got Kona seven and half years ago, right after we returned from our honeymoon. The day we picked him up, he was all of 8 weeks old and weighed 13 lbs. He sat on Kelly's lap on the ride home.

As it turned out, I wasn't working those first couple months and we spent our days together while Kelly was at work. I taught him to sit, stand and shake hands. Heeling was never his strong suit through... he always had a mind of his own, but I didn't mind. We took up a near permanent residence at the local dog park and explored the trails near our house. He never did like to play fetch though, every time we tried, he looked at me as if to say, "I guess you didn't want that tennis ball, huh?"

He was always our protector... when Kelly was pregnant and when the kids were babies, he always stood guard around them, giving any new dogs a thorough sniff-test to make sure he could trust them. And he never strayed too far, just in case. On business trips, I never worried about the safety of the house. A big, strong 125 lb dog with a huge bark is the best alarm system money can buy. He particularly hated Jehovah's Witnesses when they came to the door. I always loved that about him.

He never wanted much... just to be around us. No matter what room of the house was occupied, he had to be there too. Even after the cancer, he would hobble around just to be close to us. He had his favorite spots in every room. In front of the fireplace in the living room. Next to my desk chair in my office. In his dog bed in our bedroom. Between the girls' chairs in the dining room... pretty smart actually, this doubled his chances of getting food. On the patio in the backyard. Whenever I was home, the sound of his breathing was a constant, gentle reminder that he was there next to me.

Now it's too quiet. Thanks for seven great years, Kona. We'll miss you.

Only joking.

No, after yesterday's noise and bluster - not from Wolfmother; from people criticising my choices - it's time for something a bit quieter (but probably no less offensive).

Riot On An Empty Street - Kings Of Convenience [2004]

Norwegian nerds Kings Of Convenience are a wonderful oasis of calm in a stressful, shouty world. All gentle acoustic guitar and vocal harmonies, they receive a lot - a LOT - of comparisons to Simon & Garfunkel and with some justification, but with their interest in dance music as well as indie folk (best buds with compatriots Röyksopp, dontchaknow) they have more strings to their... guitar.

Riot On An Empty Street sees Kings Of Convenience at their best, even if their most famous song (and admittedly one of their best) Toxic Girl will be found on their debut release, Quiet Is The New Loud. This, their second album, is understated, lyrically superb and wonderfully melodic - if you don't believe me, try the Spotify link (with the previously missing #20 and #21 also there).

Although plugged-in jumpers Love Is No Big Truth and I'd Rather Dance With You (featuring the winning line, "I'll make you laugh by acting like the guy who sings") do stand out, it's naturally the slower tracks that really impress. Gold In The Air Of Summer is a luscious ballad and so is Surprise Ice, while aptly titled closing track The Build Up, featuring gorgeous vocals from Canadian singer Feist, is just excellent - no less.

String-led Stay Out Of Trouble is another cracker, but the album's highlight for me is Sorry Or Please, a heartfelt tale about prison redemption and the possible end of a relationship. Its nervous see-sawing between being fearful and being hopeful - "Your increasingly long embraces: are they saying sorry or please?" - is wondrous in its emotion, as lush strings add further tension.

There's a very sweet shyness in the album's lyrics (again, evident in Toxic Girl) that adds to the general loveliness of it all:

Even if I could hear what you said
I doubt my reply would be interesting for you to hear

Riot On An Empty Street is intelligent, soulful and tender, as well as being the best album for relaxation you'll ever hear. And having just watched The Thick Of It, I think we need it.

Spotify link: #19. Riot On An Empty Street - Kings Of Convenience

Spotify link: #20. Wolfmother - Wolfmother

Spotify link: #21. Shootenanny! - Eels

The first big race of the season is in the books. This is my 3rd year racing at Oceanside. It's a great event that I look forward to every year.

My weakness has always been my cycling so my goal heading into the winter was to really work on my cycling and with improved bike fitness, put myself into a position where I could be top 10 in my AG and go sub 4:30 on this course.

Overall, I'd give my winter training an 8 on a scale of 1 to 10. I certainly made some huge gains in my cycling ability, but I didn't get the mega-mileage that I was really hoping for. Most of this was simply less-than ideal time management and my other life commitments springing up from time to time. It was good, but not great.

On to the race report.

Swim - 28:01 (15th AG, 126th OA)
Oceanside is notorious for having a cold-water swim, there is always a lot of angst in the transition area with people wondering exactly HOW cold is it? The posted water temp was 58.5 and the race director was allowing booties, but in all honesty, it wasn't that bad. I wore two swim caps to help keep my head warm and I was fine. Once the gun went off, I quickly got into a pretty good rhythm. Unfortunately, there were no good feet for me to draft on, though I did feel the occasional hand on my foot. Someone was catching a ride off of me for a while... I hate it when that happens. Oh well. After the 2nd or 3rd buoy I started to catch some of the slower swimmers from the waves in front of me which forced me to zig-zag a bit to get around them. Before I knew it, I was at the turnaround and heading back into the harbor. There were some slight swells near the harbor mouth, but again, it wasn't bad at all. I do have to mention that I picked up some new googles at the Expo, which I absolutely love... the TYR TRacers. They are great... visibility was perfect, no leaking and no fogging. I usually have to clear my goggles at least a couple times during a race... these were perfect. Anyway, I made it back with no issues and climbed out the water feeling pretty good. My time of 28:01 is a PR for me, but not by a big margin. I seem to always swim close to the same time... (2007 - 28:31, 2008 - 28:59).

Transition 2 - 3:43
This race has a very long run from the swim exit to the far end of the transition area and around again. I was running pretty fast to get to my bike and probably pissed some guys off that were jogging slowly when I pushed passed them. Sorry dudes. Got to the bike and briefly considering putting on the arm warmers on that I had laid out. But, despite the fact that air was cold, the sun was out and I skipped them. Got the bike and got on the road quickly from there.

Bike - 2:35:39, 21.6 mph avg (34th AG, 158th OA)
New bike, new position and a focus on cycling for the winter... I had made the investment, this is where I was hoping to see the big improvement from last year. Nutrition on the bike was two bottles of my GuH20/CarboPro mix, 2 scoops of each which equates to approximately 325 calories. This is a proven mixture that I've used a lot in training which my stomach handles easily. One bottle on the downtube and one in my aerobar-mounted bottle cage. I also had a flask with 14 Thermolyte tablets in a small bento box. No solid food. Once out on the course, my legs came under me pretty quickly and I started to roll through the field, passing lots of guys right away. I race without a HR monitor, but I could tell that my adrenaline was pumping and I was being too aggressive. After the first little climb on San Mateo (about 4 miles in), I dialed it back and just kept it steady. The first 20 miles of the course is mostly flat with just a couple little rollers, its very tempting to hammer and put lots of time in the bank. But after having done the race a couple times, I know that it's the back half where the race can be made or broken. Even so, I felt really good and was keeping a nice pace... I hit the 20 mile mark in 52:32 (22.8 mph avg). After the left turn at around mile 23 onto Christianitos, the course gets more challenging with a series of rollers until the first major climb at mile 28. By this time, I had finished my first bottle of nutrition and at the first bottle exchange I swapped it for a bottle of plain water. I also took 1/2 of my electrolyte tablets. From this point on, I alternated between taking drinks of plain water and my drink mix. Just after the aid station, I caught up to a guy with nearly the same exact bike set-up as me (same model Cervelo P2C, same wheelset) in this section who I ended playing cat and mouse for about 15 miles. He would pass me on the uphills, I would catch him on the downhills and the flatter sections, back and forth. It made the time go faster and we ended up working our way past a lot of riders as we passed and repassed one another. I managed to get away from him on the final climb and that was the last I saw of him the rest of the race. Once over the final climb, I caught another guy on a black Guru and we did the same thing on the descent and on the final approach down Vandergrift. I passed him, he repassed me... I fell back to 10 meters... repassed, repeat. All the way back into transition. Rolling back into the Harbor, I finished off my second bottle of nutrition, took the rest of my electrolyte tabs and was feeling really good and optimistic for a good run. I was really hoping for a ride closer to 2:30, but after seeing how my relative performance improved this year, compared to prior years (2007 - 224th, 2008 - 386th ), I was pretty happy.

Transition 2 - 1:47
A pretty quick transition. I had my feet out of my shoes as I rolled in. Got the bike racked quickly and was into my running shoes. Grabbed a flask of TriBerry-flavored GU (w/caffeine, natch) to carry with me and my sunglasses and was off.

Run - 1:29:53, 6:52/mile avg (19th AG, 107th OA)
Last year at Vineman, I had my best run ever in an half-ironman (1:25) by running the first 5 miles very conservatively then slowing picking up the pace the back half of the course. My intention was to use the same strategy and I kept telling myself to take it easy, get the HR under control and let the legs get loose before trying to make any moves. The only wrinkle I hadn't really trained for was the 1/4 mile sand section which was re-introduced this year. We had to run over the sand section at the beginning and end of each loop, so there was about one full mile of running in semi-soft to soft sand. However, my first mile was 6:47 even with the sand section and I was feeling pretty good. Mile 2 was 6:45. I took sips from my gel flask and got some gatorade and/or water at each aid station and I kept the pace right around 6:45-6:50 range for the first loop. I tried not to pay attention to the other athletes or worry about catching anyone, I simply concentrated on keeping a steady, strong pace. Once out on the second loop and through the 3rd (of 4) sand sections, I tried to pick up the pace. I started looking ahead at the runners and worked on reeling them in, one by one... especially if they were in my age group. Despite my efforts, my pace was not improving and even slowing slightly. At the aid station just before mile 9, I started taking cola to try to get a boost from the sugar and caffeine. After doing some mental arithmetic, I realized that I couldn't afford to slow down at all if I was going to break 4:40, I needed to maintain nothing slower than 7:00 pace. That was my motivation the last 2 or 3 miles. Finally, once through the final sand section, the finish line and crowd was in sight and I even managed a slight surge to pass one last guy in my AG in the final straight.

Final time 4:39:02 (14th AG, 95th OA)

I'm happy with the performance. It's not the 4:30 I was looking for, but it's a solid improvement from previous years. Execution was solid, there isn't anything I'd do differently and it's a lifetime PR for the distance (though not by much... I went 4:39:4-something way back in 1999 at Eagleman, a far easier course). Both the swim and bike splits were PR's. The thing I'm happiest about is that my relative performance in all three sports was much more consistant than it ever has been. I still have a lot of work to do on my cycling, but now my ability on the bike is at least somewhat on par with my swimming and running.

Now onto to Wildflower.

I was in Tuscon last week for the Gorilla Multisport Winter Training Camp. My original intention was to blog every day while at camp to give the daily update on the experience. But, frankly, I was too tired to manage it. So, now I am typing this from home in San Diego after a few days of recovery and decompression.

I had been looking forward to this for a while... five days of nothing but training, learning and hanging out with some other like-minded triathletes.

We arrived on Tuesday, I'll call it Day 0. After the long drive I was pretty wired, so I went for a quick run before some grub and bed. Our hotel was about 2 miles from the Kino Sports Complex, which is where the Arizona Diamondbacks do their spring training... made for a nice turnaround for the out and back route. Workout #1 in the books.

Day 1 - Wednesday
The other campers were not due to arrive until mid-day, but since we were in town and had some free time, my friend and Gorilla Multisport Coach DeeAnn and I went to a Masters workout at the University of Arizona. They run a nice program over there and the pool is amazing. With the week of heavy training ahead, I was glad to find out that the workout was an easy one. Lots of fast 100's and 50's with lots of rest, along with some technique work. I ended up with just over 3000 yards for the workout. After some coffee, breakfast and a short rest, I headed out for a run out to the Kino Sports Complex again. One of the campers from Florida, Joseph, had arrived, so he joined me. We ended up with just over 4.5 miles of easy jogging. After lunch and "registration", the entire crew convened for the first ride of the camp, Gates Pass. The ride began with a flat stretch through urban Tucson, which was not great due to all the stoplights. But once we were out of town, the scenery was amazing... spectacular views of the desert and endless miles of cactus and beautiful landscapes. The highlight of the ride was the climb up and over Gates Pass, which has a section at the top that rivals some of the steepest roads I've ever climbed on a bike. Out of the saddle in the 39x26, just trying to keep the pedals turning over. After a photo opp at the top, we bombed down the backside and back into town. Total ride was 38 miles. After getting back to the hotel and cleaning up, we were treated to a nutrition presentation from Bob Seebohar (www.fuel4mance.com), elite coach and sports nutritionist for the 2008 US Olympic Triathlon Team. I learned a lot about metabolic efficiency and picked up some tips that I will definitely incorporate into my own training.

Day 2 - Thursday
AM - 50 mile ride out to Colossal Cave Mountain Park. Coach Bob and Seton Claggett from TriSports.com joined us for the ride. Both are great guys and strong athletes. Overall, an moderate ride with lots of false flats and gentle inclines. The best part was that all the climbing was in the first 30 miles and the entire 20 mile return trip was a gentle descent. Immediately upon returning, our group headed out for a quick 20 minute transition run. Coach Bob rode and ran with us and gave us some great tips on run cadence. After a quick bite to eat, I put my legs up for an hour to rest up for the afternoon ride.
PM - 38 mile ride, the bottom half of the El Tour de Tucson route. By this time, the day had turned hot and windy... so we were treated to a pretty tough ride, starting out in urban Tucson, than out to some less-traveled roads in the north part of town. As soon as we could get our bikes in the hotel rooms and showered up, we headed over to a strength workout with Coach Bob. We focused on a concept he calls neuromuscular activation... essentially a series of pre and post-workout movements that activate the key muscle groups. Again, I learned a lot... great stuff.

Day 3 - Friday
AM - The Shootout is a regular Saturday hammerfeest that has been taking place in Tucson for over 30 years... its a fairly challenging route famous for attracting the most competitive cyclists and is typically full of attacks and counterattacks. We choose to do The Shootout ride on Friday on our own to get a sample of the route without the blistering pace and a big peleton. Seton Claggett from TriSports.com rode with us again. It started out with an easy 15 miles in town than a long 15 miles of false flat... nearly dead straight... before it finally kicks up with a final short steep climb. I was feeling pretty strong so I kept the pace high on the false flat, but once the hill came Seton dropped me like a rock as he disappeared up the steep incline. The local knowledge proved to be pretty handy! After regrouping, we headed back into town at a pretty good clip (22-24 mph) thanks to the mostly flat and gently descending route.
PM - Late Friday afternoon, I had a swim analysis and video scheduled... but beforehand, for the first time in three days, I had a couple hours to relax. So I napped by the pool. After my nap and a shower, I headed over to TriSports for my swim video. They have a sweet two-lane Endless Pool set-up with underwater and above water cameras. The instructor told me that my stroke was pretty solid (I hope so!), but gave me a few suggestions that I think will be helpful. In particular, one thing that I discovered is that I tend to pull up short with my right arm on the pull. So I need to concentrate on finishing my stroke on that side. Good feedback and something I probably would have never figured out on my own without the video feedback.

Saturday - Day 4
AM - This was the big day. Mt. Lemmon. A 26 mile climb rising from 2500 ft to a peak over 8200 ft. I've ridden San Diego's big climb, Palomar Mountain... which is tough. But the top of Palomar is at just over 5000 ft. When climbing Mt. Lemmon, the 5000 ft mark is not even halfway up the climb. Palomar is steeper, but it is the length of Mt. Lemmon that is killer... over 2 hrs of consistent work going up the mountain. We started the ride with an easy 15 miles of riding through Tucson and regrouped at a coffee shop about 2 miles from the Mile 0 marker at the base of the climb. After some pics and a double shot of espresso, we started up. There were 5 of us (myself, Norm, Manny, Joseph, and Greg) in the group that agreed to ride the whole mountain... the rest of the campers would climb for 90 minutes as far as they could go and then turn around. The summit team (sounds cool, eh?) all exchanged numbers and arranged to text or call each other if for some reason we needed to turn around. Otherwise, we would all meet up at the top. We got going and could see the road twisting up the mountain ahead of us... it was pretty intimidating. About 50 yards past the Mile 0 sign, Norm informed me that my rear tire was flat. Crap. He stayed back to help me get it changed while the rest of the group proceeded ahead. Once I fixed the tire, we proceeded again. The first 5 miles of the climb were tough, there were some killer headwinds that made it tough just to stay upright on the bike. I thought to myself that if the entire climb was this windy, it was going to be a very, very difficult day. Fortunately, as the road twisted and turned up the mountain there was some shelter from the wind and it got easier. I made a concerted effort to keep my HR in high Zone 2 (130-140) and just stayed on my 39x26 gear keeping the cadence high. This netted me a blistering pace of about 10-11 mph. Ha. Every few minutes, I shifted up to my 25 or 23 and climbed out of the saddle to give my hamstrings and lower back a rest. At Mile 7, I caught Manny and Joseph and we all took some pictures from the Seven Cataracts viewpoint. Spectacular. After the short break, I continued up the climb and quickly separated from the other guys. The views up the mountain were simply unbelievable, incredible rock formations and of course, the view of the valley falling further and further away... the closest thing I can relate them to is the Grand Canyon. It's hard to do them justice with words or even pictures. The rest of the climb went pretty well. Every time my legs were screaming for a break, the slope softened a bit and I was able to recover just enough for the next tough stretch ahead. Finally, I got to the first peak at Mile 21 and was treated to a descent. A descent? Wait, I'm not at the top yet! The final few miles of the "climb" were a bowl that drops about 400 ft before re-ascending to 8200 ft at the village of Mt. Lemmon. At the base of the final climb, I caught Greg whom I hadn't seen since I flatted two hours before. We laughed about how tough the climb was, and rolled into town together. A great sense of accomplishment that we indulged by getting some hot chocolate (it was cold!) and huge pieces of banana cream pie. About 10 minutes later, Norm rolled in and about 30 minutes later, Manny arrived. Shortly thereafter, we got a text that Joseph had turned around. So we finished up our good, got some pics and then headed back down the mountain. It was about 30 degrees cooler at the top, so I put on my arm warmers and shoved some loose paper (the cafe to-go menus!) in my jersey front to block the wind. It took about 25 minutes of work to get back out to the first peak, which after the long break and food was tough. But once back to Mile 21, it was literally all downhill from there. The descent is somewhat technical and super-fast. By the time I got to the bottom, my hands were cramping from constantly being the brakes trying to moderate my speed. On several occasions I was touching 40 mph and that was trying to be conservative. Finally, after regrouping again at the bottom, we headed back for the final 15 miles toward home. The full day was 85 miles, about 8000 ft of climbing. A great day on the bike and one that I will remember forever.
PM - Once we rolled back into the hotel at about 3pm, we slammed our (late) lunches and got ready to head over to the University of Arizona pool for a swim workout. I was tempted to bail and just relax, but the idea of splashing around the pool for a drill workout sounded good. Finally at 5pm the tough day was over and we all gathered around the hotel pool for pizza and beer. Good times.

Sunday - Day 5
Final day of camp... no cycling. After four tough days of riding, it was nice not to be getting on the bike first thing in the morning. Besides I was running out of clean cycling clothes. Actually, I ran out of clean stuff on Friday... but was able to make do with some Woolite and the hotel room sink. Anyway, I digress. After a quick breakfast, we piled into the cars and headed out to Saguero National Park for an amazing trail run. There is a 8 mile loop that is simply spectacular. Everyone was on their own to decide how far they wanted to run, we simply had a two hour time limit. Most choose to do one loop. My legs were pretty toasted from the riding, but I wanted a little more than 8 miles. My lower threshold for a "long" run is 12 miles, so I ran one loop and did a 2 mile out and back to bring it up to the requisite dozen. The quads were not happy with me as I climbed back into the van for the 20 minute drive home. After some more breakfast and a shower, we packed up the gear, said our goodbyes and got on the road back to San Diego.

Overall, it was a tremendous few days. Training wise, it was my biggest week ever... with over 270 miles on the bike, 30 miles of running and about 7k of swimming. To think that pros do that every week!! Aside from the training, the other campers were awesome... good people all of them. It was great to spend some time hanging out, we had a blast.

Here are some pics from the rides.

Entrance to Colossal Cave Mountain Park

Joseph, Manny and Me - The Shootout Loop

Heading toward Colossal Cave Mountain Park

The Mt. Lemmon Summit Crew - Manny, Norm, Me, Greg, Joseph... before the climb

At the base of Mt. Lemmon, right before I flatted.

Somewhere near Mile 10 of the Mt. Lemmon climb

Mt. Lemmon - Looking down, around Mile 14.

Banana Cream Pie and Hot Chocolate at the top of Mt. Lemmon - delicious.

Taken while descending at 35+mph. Not recommended.

All right then, a quick one before the year is out. New Year's Eve on the South Bank can wait.

First, though, a quick word of thanks to anyone still reading this blog; to those who put up with the epic early posts; to those who bookmarked it, RSSed it or remembered to return every Sunday night; and to those stuck with it through the regime change into its current non-weekly format. It's been great to know I'm not just prattling into an empty universe, as I usually am. Thank you all.

So why am I posting now, when I'm running late for a train? Because there are a couple of things I want to make clear before 2009 begins with a swirl of fireworks and anti-climax.

i) Manchester United are not out of the running for the Premiership. I keep reading interviews, match reviews and analyses saying, "United are still in the hunt" as if it's a surprise. Of course it isn't.

For one, United are never out of the running. As much as it pains me to say it (I hate United with a red devilish passion surpassed only by a recent revulsion towards Arsene Wenger), they are a good team that never gives up - hence their tradition in grabbing points from games at literally the last minute. The same goes in the longer run, and they'll fight this tooth and nail.

Secondly, they have the depth to cope with the injuries that naturally plague any team with title aspirations. One look at the depth of talent in the United midfield - Ronaldo, Giggs, Park, Carrick, Hargreaves (admittedly out for the rest of the season), Nani, Anderson, Scholes, Fletcher, O'Shea and any I've missed - is enough to know they can survive an injury crisis far better than the likes of 13-man squad Arsenal can.

Finally, have these naysayers even seen the points difference? United are seven points adrift of leaders Liverpool with two games in hand. If they win those two games, both at home - and they will - they're only a point behind. All it takes is a few dropped points by Liverpool (very likely) and they're top. Not asking much.

My prediction for 2009: Manchester United to win the Premiership.

ii) Facebook is right to ban photos of women breastfeeding. It is. The only problem is that it's gone the wrong way about it.

Breastfeeding photos shouldn't be banned because they're supposedly disgusting, or because nipples shouldn't be on show on such a widely-used website, but because there are some very dodgy people on Facebook who go around stalking women with public profiles. Believe me - I know some of them. Pictures of women liberally breastfeeding are enough to have some sick men reaching for their Kleenex, and for that reason - to protect the people in them - the photos should be banned.

iii) Raymond Blanc, the famous chef, has been a bit irresponsible in my view.

There's not much on it here, but look past the stuff about family mealtimes to the bit about diet books. This is what The Telegraph focused on in their print report today, and quite rightly so.

Blanc has said that diet books make people fear food, rather than enjoy it. He seems to be of the 'live to eat, don't eat to live' party, claiming that British people are so worried about what they should and should not eat they don't eat nice food any more.

This is a tad dangerous in my view. Yes, diet books can be irresponsible too in giving people overly negative images of themselves, but at least they are trying to curb the obesity problem in this country. What we don't need is a leading chef telling people to stop worrying about their weight and eat whatever the hell they want.

iv) This man should resign.

And that's it for 2008! Thanks again for sticking with me. Here's to controversial stories in 2009.

British politics has been very interesting this week. Even with a Cold War possibly starting thanks to the antics of Russia and Georgia, there's plenty happening at home to get the political pulse racing, or at least beating.

You may be wondering why I am steadfastly not writing about the Russia/Georgia situation, and the simple reason is that I don't know enough about the situation to comment without revealing my ignorance (please, no "that's never stopped you before" comments). Even after analysing the situation my conclusions are along the lines of "Naughty Ruskis" and "Silly Georgians", and that's the kind of political comment that helps nobody (Simon Heffer, take note).

But what I do have on offer for you is a hat-trick of opinions on British political stories this week, with some American election-spotting on the side for good measure.

Never say I don't spoil you.

Tories vs. Fatties
Let's talk about sex, baby
History lessons go back to black
The female of the species
Every little helps

Put down the pie, fatty, and listen up. If you are overweight or obese, you have nobody to blame but yourself. Not Bernard Matthews, not Colonel Sanders – it's YOUR fault you break the scales. Yours. Now get out of my sight and make a salad, chubbles.

This, as every reporter will tell you, is the gist of the Conservative Party's caring new approach to public health, outlined by the shadow health secretary Andrew Lansley last Wednesday. His speech to the think tank Reform, entitled No Excuses, No Nannying, attacked people’s failure to take responsibility for their self-inflicted health problems, claiming, "Tell people that biology and the environment cause obesity and they are offered the one thing we have to avoid: an excuse." Basically, the Tories are telling the overweight they have only themselves to blame.

What Lansley said is actually a little more complex than that. He unveiled proposals to fight obesity that include role models promoting healthy lifestyles, a clampdown on food advertising and asking the food industry to reduce portion sizes. Blimey, hold on to your seat – them's some radical ideas.

Not so much an unveiling as a shy reminder, then. The Tories haven't suggested anything new here, and it's not hard to see why the Government's health secretary Alan Johnson condemned them, saying, "Andrew Lansley is proposing to do nothing that isn't being done already and saying nothing that hasn't been said before." Still, the LibDems probably got carried away in saying the Tories just want to blame people for their obesity because they haven't got any ideas on how to tackle it. That's silly talk. Besides, the Tories are right: people should take responsibility for their weight and stop blaming external influences.

It is true that we live in an irresponsible compensation culture where nothing is anybody's fault (except paedophiles, who don't get to defend themselves). "Don't blame me – I'm only a monster because society made me that way." "It's not my fault I had a bad upbringing." "Jesus told me to rob that bank." We are constantly led to believe that we are all guided by social or even astrological forces beyond our control, that if you were born on the wrong side of the tracks then dealing crack to abusive teenage mothers is understandable and therefore permissible, and that anyone who actually blames someone for doing something wrong is a fascist – or in this scenario, a fattist.

Fat people cannot help being fat, we are told. But here’s the thing: most of them can. If there is a genuine medical reason for an individual’s obesity (e.g. glandular problems, physical disability etc.) and they literally have no option but to pile

on the pounds, then it's entirely reasonable to say, "They can't help it." But that's not the general argument; instead, we are made to believe that obesity isn't a lifestyle choice but an unfortunate affliction targeting the weak. There's just so much advertising for junk food, you see. And it tastes so nice. Oh, these poor, poor sufferers of the overeating disease. Does lack of willpower count as a vitamin deficiency?

Forgive me for being aggressive, but obesity is not caused by availability. Just because you can buy a tasty but sickeningly unhealthy burger for a couple of quid doesn’t mean you are contractually obliged to, in the same way that you can buy gallons of cider with loose change but you don’t have to drink it all in one go and become an alcoholic. It is a question of having some self-control. You can be flabby and still have a backbone.

The Tories' plans don't recommend anything new or useful, and should be disregarded for being largely pointless. But at least they don't protect gutless gluttons, who need to take the blame for their mistakes. It may not be easy for chronic overeaters, but at the end of the day, humble pie is still pie.

MPs are appealing to the Government to provide sex education as early as the beginning of primary school, meaning pupils would learn about the birds and the bees from the age of four.

It's easy to strip a complex suggestion down into headline-hitting hysteria – look, I did it just there and I'm not even a national broadsheet newspaper – but this plan is still concerning. The sexualisation of young children is becoming ever-worrying, and teaching them about relationships before they can even spell 'relationships' is a dodgy prospect. How sexual will this sex education be at that age? We don't know. It may just be a case of "Have you noticed how you like Mary in a different way to how you like John?" (or not, as the case may be), but until that is made clear, we have reason to be suspicious. Call me old-fashioned, but a) kids should arguably learn about relationships and sex from their parents or guardians rather than their teachers and b) they should definitely be able to tie their own shoelaces by that time.

Let it be stricken from the record that at the age of 21 I am really bad at tying my shoelaces.

There is also, I feel, insufficient evidence to suggest sex education at such an early will cut down on the unwanted teenage pregnancies that are plaguing Britain and precipitating such reactionary legislation. Hitting the problem early is always a good thing, but I can't see explanations of relationships to an infant preventing him from making a mistake many years later. One fear is that girls are beginning to have periods without knowing properly what to expect, but again, it's very unusual for that bodily change to occur before the age of 9 or 10, say, which would be a reasonable time for sex education to begin.

I just don't think this legislation would solve any problems, and I do believe it might taint the innocence of millions of young children. Colour me sceptical.

But for every absurd educational reform there's a decent one (that's probably not an official statistic), and it's definitely good news that the slave trade and the British empire are to become compulsory subjects in History lessons.

Pupils between the ages of 11 and 14 – meaning pre-GCSE students, forced in nearly all schools to take History for three years – will be taught about the likes of William Wilberforce and Olaudah Equiano and their roles in the abolition of the British slave trade (and to think, they could just watch Amazing Grace or read this blog and follow the Wikipedia links). The fall of the empire will also be dissected and the progression of civil rights for African-Americans most likely thrown into the mix as well.

It's an encouraging development for three reasons. Most obviously and most importantly, it will teach children about a massive part of Britain's history hitherto ignored by school syllabus-makers. Secondly, it shows a willingness to admit and discuss the embarrassing faults of our ancestors, rather than pretending they didn't happen and focusing instead on national triumphs such as Waterloo, the Battle of Britain and the removal of Margaret Thatcher from power. Finally and most thrillingly of all, it will end the domination of Germany, the world wars and the Holocaust over History lesson timetables.

My only concern is the idea that schoolchildren will learn about the slave trade "to help them understand modern-day issues such as immigration." Given the disgusting popularity of people having right-wing leanings these days, I wouldn't be too surprised if 'helping children to understand immigration' means 'helping children to understand that immigrants are all mass-murdering rapists'.

Still, that's just my cynicism kicking into overdrive. It's about time British kids knew the truth about slavery, before they start thinking that Sepp Blatter and Cristiano Ronaldo know what they're talking about.

John McCain may be an idiot, but he knows American politics. He's covered up his own inadequacies by focusing on Obama's supposed inexperience, he's guaranteed himself favourable press coverage by allowing plenty of exposure for most of his career and he

purposefully upset the Democratic hoedown by infiltrating their Denver conference with high-profile Republican speakers. And now, amid claims he's too old and doesn't appeal to the more simple-minded female voters as much as Barack 'Nice Smile' Obama, he has chosen a woman, Sarah Palin, Governor of Alaska, for his running mate and potential Vice-President. Shrewd.

It is, of course, reductive and even insulting to suggest McCain will receive more of the female vote than he would otherwise just by having a female running mate. But that's how it works. A level of 'one of us' affects every voter to an extent – black or white, rich or poor, male or female. Having a Hispanic running mate would secure McCain the Hispanic vote. Having a ginger running mate would secure the ginger vote. And having a female running mate is likely to secure him more of the female vote. Sorry.

Palin may also win McCain the Youth vote (she's 44), the Proud Mothers Unite vote (5 children, one with Down's Syndrome) and the Anti-Abortion vote (5 children, one with Down's Syndrome), although admittedly McCain already had that one sewn up. We also shouldn't underestimate the popular vote from Stupid Men Who Don't Care About Politics But Know A Pretty Face When They See One ('masturbatory voters', as they are known): Palin looks incredible for a woman who's given birth to five children and certainly generates more interest in the pants department than Hillary Clinton.

Palin was not as much of a no-brainer choice as she may seem though. McCain's most stringent and resounding criticism of Barack Obama is that he is inexperienced and not ready to govern America. Unsurprisingly given that he's 72 himself, McCain is playing the experience card very highly. Then he goes and chooses a running mate who has been in office for less than two years. Clearly the idea is to inject some youth and excitement into, well, the Republican party, and diversity and shoring up your own weaknesses is a major part of picking a running mate – hence why Obama chose Joe Biden, a famously experienced politician into his sixth term in the Senate. Picking Sarah Palin is at best a risky move and at worse blatant hypocrisy, but it is, of course, difficult for Obama to pick up on because any attack on her pedigree indirectly leads to doubts over his own.

It is always controversial to 'take the man, not the ball' and focus on a person rather than their politics. It is doubly controversial when that person is a woman, because you are accused of rampant sexism. But in American politics is hard to consider it any other way, because even when you are picking a future Vice-President you are picking personality rather than policy. The running mate is a means to an end; someone to help you to get into the hot seat, not share it with you when you're there. John McCain himself has repeatedly said the vice-presidency amounts to little more than "attending funerals and checking on the health of the President", so we probably shouldn't believe him too readily when he says he wants to work closely with her in the White House. She's his ticket there; not his bedfellow.

And it might just work. Palin will attract some of the disenchanted Hillary supporters from the Democratic camp, who don't need much persuading – many are of the 'Hillary 12' crowd, keen for Obama to lose the election so Mrs Clinton can take over after winning the next one. The idea of wanting your party to lose is, I think, inexplicable, but there you go. Palin's appointment is also helping the Republican party to provide a more united front than the Democrats are doing at the moment, thanks to Clinton & Co (though they have triggered one of the best acronyms in recent political history: Party Unity My Ass).

The sad truth is that John McCain is probably going to win this election. Seeing how he and Sarah Palin cope will be interesting. Personally, I'd have preferred Michael Palin. Now THAT would be a story.

Victory for pedants everywhere.